Writing in a card is hard enough. Writing in a card with money in it is harder, because the money sits there feeling like it needs explaining, and most people explain it badly.
The good news is that this has one rule, and once you know it the rest is easy.
The rule: do not mention the money
Not the amount, not where it came from, not what you hope they spend it on, and above all not an apology for it. The money is in the envelope. They will find it. Your job is the part the money cannot do.
The reason is simple. The moment you write about the amount, you turn a gift into a transaction, and you invite the person to have an opinion about the figure. Say nothing about it, and it stays a gift.
If you remember one thing: write the card you would have written if there were no money in it at all. Then put the money in.
Things people write that they should not
- "Sorry it is not more." This makes the person feel they have received something inadequate, which was not true until you said so.
- "Put it towards something nice." Harmless but hollow, and it quietly tells them you could not think of anything.
- "Treat yourself!" Fine for a colleague, faintly patronising for anyone you actually know well.
- "I did not know what to get you." True of almost every gift ever given, and not improved by being said out loud.
- Writing the amount in numbers. There is never a reason.
What to write instead
Pick one of these three and you will have something better than nine cards out of ten.
Something specific about them
One concrete detail beats any amount of warm generality. Not "you are amazing" but "nobody else would have driven four hours for that". Specific is what makes a card worth keeping.
Something about the occasion
Why today matters, in your own words. A graduation is years of work ending. A wedding is a decision, not a party. Saying what you actually think about the day is more memorable than congratulating them on it.
Something you are looking forward to
Pointing at the future rather than the present gives the card somewhere to go, and it works particularly well when you will not see them for a while.
Lines you can use
Take these as they are or bend them to sound like you. Short is fine. Nobody has ever complained that a card was too short.
Wedding
“To the two of you, and to every ordinary Tuesday that comes after today.”
“You have been married in every way that counts for years. Nice of you to finally do the paperwork.”
“Wishing you a long and deeply boring happiness. The good kind.”
“Thank you for having us. We would not have missed it.”
“Here is to the life you are building. We are glad to have a seat at it.”
Birthday
“Happy birthday. You are one of the good ones and I do not say it enough.”
“Another year of you, which is good news for the rest of us.”
“Hope today is exactly as quiet or as loud as you want it to be.”
“Happy birthday. Go and do something you will have to explain later.”
Graduation
“You did the hard part. This is just the bit where people clap.”
“Three years of work and one photograph to show for it. Worth it.”
“Whatever comes next, you have already proved you can finish things.”
“Congratulations. Now go and be slightly underpaid somewhere exciting.”
Eid
“Eid Mubarak. Sorry not to be there, thinking of you all today.”
“Eid Mubarak. Your Eidi, from someone who misses your mother's cooking.”
“Wishing you a blessed Eid and a very long table.”
No occasion at all
“No reason. You have had a long month and somebody noticed.”
“Saw this and thought of you, which happens more often than you would think.”
“Just because. Do not read anything into it.”
How long should it be?
One good sentence beats a paragraph of filler. If you have two good sentences, use both. If you are padding to fill the space, stop and sign your name. White space in a card is not a failure.
Signing off
Match it to how you talk to them. "Love" for family and close friends, "All the best" for colleagues, your name alone if anything else would feel odd. If you have hesitated over this for more than a few seconds, your first instinct was right.
If the card is digital
Everything above still applies. The rule does not change because the envelope does.
With BloomVest the message is the card. You choose an illustration, write your words on it, and the money goes to their own bank account when they open it. They keep the card, and can download it, long after the money has been spent.